In Nambia, there’s a tribe that, during visitation to their home, the husband offers his wife to the guest to have sexual intercourse with while he sleeps in a different room. In fact, if there’s no spare room, the husband would sleep outside. To the husband, this is the best hospitality.
In 2017, a close friend of mine found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him. He became sad and went on to drink sniper and died. To my friend, this is the worst tragedy.
The same circumstance happened to two people but interpreted differently. Now, I’m not saying the former’s interpretation is right. What I’m saying is, it’s not our situation that causes us pain. It’s our interpretation of our situation.
Maybe both circumstances aren’t similar but I also know of an individual who found out that his fiancee was cheating and rather than get unnecessarily sad about it, he simply moved on, thanking God for revealing the true identity of his partner to him. Point remains, for every given situation, there are different perspectives. So, nothing means anything unless the meaning you give to it.
Or don’t you know that the death of a loved one really doesn’t have an effect on your health except that you simply choose to interpret it to be a bad situation? Perhaps it is. Perhaps not!
But remember that a man who sells caskets will most likely pray for deaths so his business can boom and when other people die, he sees it as a blessing until a loved one of his dies because right there and there, he would choose to gives it a negative meaning. Well, we all suffer at some point in our lives.
But you see, the mind only believes what you tell it as it cannot tell the difference between a good and a bad situation. So, if you tell your mind that your situation is working for your good, you will fare better. This is called Cognitive Reframing.
But! If you interpret negatively, your mind will torment you severely. So, don’t say, “Tosin, my life is in shambles” because all other things being equal, your life is not. It’s your mind that makes you suffer.
I repeat: your mindset is the problem!