Last week I aired on Superscreen TV and someone called in to express his feelings of sadness over his broken relationship. I could feel the agony in his voice and the truth is, everyone in pain wants something: empathy. More so, as a Pain Doctor, I don’t downplay anyone’s pain because we all have different thresholds. Besides, what’s pain is relative.
So, it’s okay to grief and I’d explain: imagine that you sustain an injury, it’s completely normal for the body to bleed in the process and bleeding during a physical hurt is tantamount to grieving during an emotional hurt. However, we both know that even after an injury, it’s unhealthy to bleed for too long lest one becomes susceptible to death.
Sadly, the brain cannot differentiate physical and emotional pain meaning it cannot tell the difference between “falling from a bike” and a “heartbreak.” Thus, grieving for too long makes you susceptible to depression and you may end up becoming suicidal.
This is where you have to review your plight because when a situation cannot be changed, it’s only wise to change your interpretation of the situation. Tell yourself that perhaps your journey together has ended and you are not meant to be. What we often think has happened to us may have actually happened for us.
Nonetheless, some chapters in your life will not be good but don’t remain in it for too long because one chapter doesn’t define the whole book. So, forget about the past and flip to the next chapter in your life.
However, if you continue to lean on the past, you are literally touching your wound and if you truly want the wound to heal, you need to stop touching it.
It’s okay to grieve but never let your past harm your future. Your past can’t be altered and your future doesn’t deserve the punishment.